My husband, Michael and I
live in Western New York. Michael and I were married in 1994.
This is my second marriage and Michael's first. I have four children
from my first marriage, and present day we have five beautiful
Michael and I moved to Western New York from Bath, New
York, because My Grandfather was ill and needed to be cared for. He had
lived alone since My Grandmother passed away in April of 1987. My Nanny
& Papa (as my brothers and I called them) were a large part of my life
growing up. I don't know what I would have done without them. Anyways,
Michael, my children and I made the move in March of 1996 and we have been here since.
The children and their children all still live in the area of Western New York at the
present, to be honest with you they all
live just blocks away. Which we love. We see Our Children and
Grandchildren practically everyday. Wouldn't want it any other way.
Michael is a Field Foreman and I have worked through out my life at
various jobs. In the last four years I have stayed at home and helped
"DayCare" my grandchildren. Which I have found to be enourmously
enjoyable as well as rewarding.
I consider myself a very fortunate
person. On the following pages you will get to know my children and
grandchildren. All of which are the light of my life.
Oh the wonder of a child, the most beautiful site to
behold I so strongly believe children should be loved, not abused or
mistreated in any way shape or form. They are gifts from God and should
be treated as such for the greatest loss in this world is the loss of a
child, anyone who has suffered the pain of losing a child or children
know this all to well.
As I had written in ~Ryan's Wings~ my first husband
and I have suffered the very pain in which I speak. The greatest
heartbreak a parent will ever have to endure is the loss of their own
child or children. The pain seems to go somewhere deep down inside of
you so you are able to carry on or as I believe only ~*By The Grace Of
God~* but you never forget; it is as if it was just yesterday I held Ryan
in my arms.
Yet you know with all I've endured in this lifetime
someone once said that I've wasted my Life and did not accomplish
anything. I believe this person meant because I live without a so-called
"label of importance" and do not bring in a hundred thousand dollars per
year of income nor do I own a home worth such. Well I guess that all
depends on what your degree of worth is.
I believe I have lived twelve
lifetimes already and yes there are plenty of days when I have felt
worthless...and even days I was made to feel worthless! However it
doesn't in any way make me such. I have experienced many hardships,
cried more than my share of tears, have had my heart ripped from me, have
been battered and bruised, lied to and betrayed, yet through it all I did
not become worthless in any way shape or form nor could my spirit be
broken for I know who I am...
My accomplishments aren't measured by the mighty dollar
sign or by how important I could be in the eyes of any community, (Not
that there is anything wrong with either, for I am sure we would all like
to be there as long as we don't lose sight of who we are or where we have
come from.) for I could be doing such if I had chosen that path.
the path I took didn't entail money or prestiege instead I chose to be a
Loving Wife and Mother, this is a position that money can't buy, for it
is the very foundation of my family, my talents include writing, drawing,
painting, ect., yet the most important skills of all I possess are those
you teach and share, those that are in my heart...Unconditional Love,
Honesty, Compassion, Empathy, more Giving to, than Taking from, and I
believe the most important of all these is Forgiveness! Finding the good
no matter how far the reach takes us and also to not fear making mistakes
for it is through our mistakes that we learn to experience life.
My children will probably chuckle over the last one, for
Mom has had no fear in making mistakes. Because Lord knows I've made my
share of them. Yet through it all there are no regrets. For I have been
faced with circumstances beyond my control and yet I have had to choose
the best route for all involed, without putting myself at the top of the
list. For that, I am proud of myself, I stayed strong and didn't
I also want to say before you move on to my "Children's"
page, that my ex-husband Ron and I were married for 15-1/2yrs before our
divorce became final, lived within the marriage itself for 13-1/2yrs.
The children, Ron, Michael and I and even some of Ron's family members
have stayed friends over the years and on occasions we still get together
for holidays and picnics. I believe the children and grandchildren aren't
torn between us this way and seem to enjoy themselves when the families
get together even though I know it was awkward at first for all concerned
mostly because of the anger we carried inside, and yet we managed to put
our emotions aside for the children's sake.
"God has a plan for all
of us, and even though at times we don't understand what those plans
entail, we must never lose Faith. So with this I will say, May God
Continue to Bless Us All and keep Our Families all safe in
Before I Was A Mom
Before I was a
Mom. I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet
conversations on the phone. Before I was a Mom. I slept as late as I
wanted, And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. Before I was a Mom. I
cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to
Before I was a Mom. I didn't worry whether or not my
plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. Before I
was a Mom. I had never been puked on, Pooped on, Spit on, Chewed on,
Peed on, Or pinched by tiny fingers. Before I was a Mom. I had
complete control of my self, My thoughts, My body, And my mind. I slept
Before I was a Mom. I never held down a screaming child so
that doctors could do tests, Or give shots. I never looked into teary
eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I
never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a
Mom. I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it
down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces, When I couldn't
stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small Could affect my life
so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I
would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom. I didn't know the feeling
of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could
feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and
her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so
Before I was a Mom. I had never gotten up in the middle of
the night, Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known
the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment, Or the
satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so
much before I was a Mom.
Quietly she sits with
her hands laying softly on her thighs,
She seems lost in concentration behind
her topaz brown eyes.
Sitting on a bench alone with a crossroads in her gaze,
She's sat there so long she's lost track of time and days.
At her side
she has a map of how she got to this fork in the road,
But it is blank
beyond that point and she is weary from head to toe.
Her eyes flutter
briefly with pain, she moves her hand to her breast,
And wonders if she is up to
the journey, wonders if she can stand the test.
The sun above has been unmerciful
and has parched her rose pink lips,
Slowly sipping from the flask in her hand
that she filled to make the trip.
The heat has been unbearable while trying to
decide which road to take,
But she knows the rest of her life depends on the
choice she must make.
So quietly she sits alone, her eyes never forgetting to
take in the sights,
Of all the beauty that encircles her and gives her
shivers of delight.
She hasn't lost sight of the glories of life, nor
forgotten the lessons she's learned,
In the journey that has been her
life, she has taken many wrong turns.
This journey is so important to
her, that she is cautious to make up her mind,
Uses part of her heart
in the choice and all the facts she is able to find.
loom before her, it is almost time for her to leave,
As she wipes one
tear from her cheek, she allows herself to quietly grieve.
to make her solitary journey once more, holding her head high,
hopeful for her future while a rainbow crosses the sky.
heart it was crowded with all the love she'd ever known,
Some was lost
forever, but some had bloomed where it was sown.
This Poem Is Used
Written By LeeAnn