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"My Blue-Eyed Man"

I paid you a visit at your grave today
and I just couldn't find the words that
I wanted to say.  The tears just streaming 
down my face not even wanting to imagine
you being in such a cold and darken place.
  So, I got down on my knees and
said the Lord's Prayer and when I was done
I just sat there wondering. 

Where you were watching me from.
The heavens above or the ground below,
There was no grass just a small square
of up-turned dirt indicating where I
needed to come to visit my son.

All the while I couldn't stop crying,
for my heart was aching for your sky blue eyes,
your soft loving touch and that welcomed smile
that always laid upon your beautiful
rosebud lips that were once mine.

As my eyes filled more of tears
I couldn't help but recall the many days we
shared before the Lord called you to
his side.

Especially remembering how we played
in on the bed the day before,
as I was changing your wet pants
that of which you always seem
to saturate. You were laughing
and gooing at mommies voice when
all of a sudden I leaned down close
to you; looked into those beautiful 
sky blue eyes and kissed your soft
little neck and said,
"Don't tell Daddy, but I'm
in love with another blue eyed
man!"your reply was a soft laugh,
and a big ol smile and then you said
"agoo ah no!"

There are so many other days
that I will remember with you,
but that one I will treasure for
you knew it was YOU who was
the other man I was talking
about.  So today was just one
of many trips of this kind that Mommy
will make to come see her
Other Blue Eyed Man.

Love Forever, Mommy



"My Dearest Ryan"

With your spirit high in the sky
are you looking down from where you are,
on this lost and lonely soul of mine that
misses you so much.  Do you still
laugh like you used to, from the bottom
of your heart, and tell me "Ry",
are you crying at all thinking of Mommy
and Daddy and the boys being so far away
from you? There is so much I would like
to know and ask but I don't know who to
see or who I should turn to, to find the
answers I so desperately need.

In my head I have pretended to accept
what the Doctor's called"Crib Death"
but in my heart I can't help but feel that it
was something I did or forgot to do that fateful
night when you left us.  So many times
we held you in our arms and we'd listen to
your laughter, never thinking, never knowing,
one day long before you could grow old that
you would be gone,
never to be held by us again.

Oh my dearest little Ry how
Mommy cries every day and every night for you,
the tears come so easily, how my heart aches
to hold you in my arms, to nestle up and kiss
your soft little neck even for
just one last time.

I love you so very much and
in my heart you will stay till my
own passing comes my way. 
I will wait for you to meet me at
Heaven's gate, but until then this
heart ache will just not go away the
pieces of the puzzle just no longer fit,
for with out you I am no longer me.
I pray the Lord will hear my prayers
each and every day to see me through
this life of mine till we meet again.

You Are Always And Forever,
In My Heart & Soul

Love Mommy


"GoodBye For Now"

I can't believe that you're really gone now.
Seems like it's all just a dream.
How can it be that the world will go
on when something has died within me.

Leaves will turn,
my heart will burn, with colors of you.
Snow will fall, but I'll recall your warmth,
summer wind, breathing in your memory.
I'll miss you.

But there will be a time
when I'll see your face.
And I'll hear your voice.
And there we will laugh again.
And there will come a day
when I'll hold you close.
No more tears to cry cause
we'll have forever.
But I'll say goodbye for now.

I can't imagine my life without you.
You held a place all your own.
Just knowing you were beneath the same sky,
Oh what a joy I have known.

On rainy days,
in many ways you'll water my heart.
On starry nights I'll glimpse
the light of your smile.
Never far from my heart.
You'll stay with me, so I'll wait.

Author is Christian Singer, Kathy Troccoli


"Little Angels"

When God calls little children
to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometimes question
the wisdom of His Love.
For no heartache compares with the
death of one small child.
Who does so much to make our
world seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of
calling the aged to his fold.
So He picks a rosebud before it can grow.
God knows how much we need them.
And so He takes but a few,
to make the land of
Heaven more beautiful to view.

Believing this is so difficult
still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be "GoodBye".
So when a little child departs
we who are left behind, must
realize God Loves Children,
Angels are hard to find.

Author Unknown


"God's Lent Child"

I'll lend you for a while
a child of mine God said.
For you to love the whilst this
child lives and mourn for
when this child's dead.
It may be 6 or 7 years or 42 or 3,
but, will YOU till I call this
child back, take care of this
child for me?

I cannot promise this child
will stay since all from earth return,
but there are lessons taught below I
want this lent child to learn.

I have looked the whole world
over in my search for teachers true
and from all the folk who crowd
life's lane I have chosen YOU.
Now, will you give this child all
your love and not think the labour
vain nor, hate me when I come to
take this lent child back home again.

I fancy that I've heard them say,
dear God thy will be done and for all
the joy this child shall bring the
risk of grief we'll gladly run.
We'll shelter this child with tenderness
we'll love this child whilst we may
and for all the joys this child will ever
bring we'll ever grateful stay.

But, should the angels call
this child back much sooner than
we've planned we'll brave the
bitter grief that comes and
try and understand.

"Author Unknown"


"Pennies from Heaven"

I found a penny today
just laying on the ground
But it's not just a penny this
little coin I've found

Found pennies come from
heaven that's what my Grandpa told me
He said Angels toss them down oh,
how I loved that story

He said when an Angel
misses you they toss a penny down.
Sometimes just to cheer you up
make a smile out of your frown

So don't pass by that
penny when you're feeling blue.
It may be a penny from heaven that
an Angel's tossed to you.

Author Unknown

An Angel's Kiss

We go through life so often,
not stopping to enjoy the day.
And we take each one for granted,
As we travel on our way.

For in your pain and sorrow,
An Angel's Kiss will help you through,
This kiss is very private,
For it is meant for only you.

We never stop to measure,
Anything we just might miss.
But if the wind should blow by softly,
You'll feel an Angel's Kiss.

A kiss that is sent from heaven,
A kiss from up above.
A kiss that is very special,
From someone that you love.

So when, your hearts are heavy,
And filled with tears and pain,
And no one can console you,
Remember once again...

About the ones you grieve for,
Because you sadly miss.
And the gentle breeze you took for granted,
Was just an Angel's Kiss.

From"Quick Inspirations"

"Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
"If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take."

October is Infantloss Awareness Month."


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The midi is "Dreams" By Margi Harrell